Speechless

This morning I had the opportunity to thank all of my MOPS moms that were so feverishly praying for us and I think for the first time in my entire life I was speechless. How do you thank someone for saving someones life? There is no doubt in my mind that without these prayers my husband wouldn't be here today. I know the Lord heard their pleas and bestowed mercy on us. What do you say? What do you say to the thousands of people that have genuine concern for Ryan and us and prayed day and night for him, I don't know. I feel like thank you will never be enough. It tears my heart out because some of these women I haven't really even bonded with yet alone been as good of a friend to them as they have to me. What do you say? I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I haven't taken more time to be a better friend. I'm not sure how to build on those friendships from here. I don't know, but I'll think of something.

I keep thinking about our first appointment with the Internal Medicine doctor and how he told Ryan he's really lucky to be alive. How Ryan's body was trying to shut down and he is so fortunate not to have any permanent damage. Part of me wanted to say, well do you know how many people are praying and prayed for Ryan, of course his body wouldn't give out; then the other part of me wants to let it sit in the bottom of my soul and just dwell on the what ifs. Of course the first option is much better, but the second is the one that gets me emotional.

I am starting to feel great about a lot of this and we are getting back into the routine of things. I learned today that I don't think I'll ever be able to hide my emotions when it comes to my love and fear of Ryan. The thought of loosing him breaks me, but knowing he's here with me now lifts me up. I couldn't do this journey without all of these amazing people in our lives. Remember, Prayer Changes Things.